New Skin – Miscarriage

Whilst collating photographic work for my installation New Skin – Exploring Motherhood I felt compelled to document every aspect of my experiences. I went through two miscarriages in between two successful pregnancies which led to the births of my son in 2014 and then my daughter at the very end of 2016.

Miscarriage. We know the word. We know what it means. Vocalising and visualising my experiences was a challenge yet something I felt cathartically I had to do. During my BPF16 exhibition at Brighton’s Regency Town House I devoted a dimly lit, somewhat neglected room to experiment with exhibiting my images and words about my experience of miscarriage.

Above are the images – installation shots as well as the photos themselves. Here are my words;

Transit

Joy was replaced by dull grey lifeless despair

I carried it everywhere for three weeks

Dragging perpetual suffocating sadness

through daily life

Internal, private grief

Death was not an ending

death is the beginning of grief

When the day came

Weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds of loss

and pain

Then it happened

a traumatic exit

wave after wailing wave

My body consumed in its task

Until it was finally done.

Gently I unthawed

The future distant, behind dirty glass

Yet it was there

And life was happening in it

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